Snappy: You know, Bitey, ever since the nice doctor cut out my spare kidney by not-on-purpose, I've thought a lot about tort reform.
Bitey: But Snappy, you hate reform — tort or not. Why thinketh thou aboutst itteth after your Bad Surgery Thing?
Snappy: Oh, you know, one thing leads to another. For instance, as I gazed at the spare kidney, which now I keep in a Ball jar on my nightstand, there came to me a question.
Bitey: Bout what?
Snappy: About "health care". Like, what does that even mean? Health care.
Bitey: What does that have to do with tort reform?
Snappy: Oh, just this: it explains why I can't get a lawyer to talk with me about helping me get money for the kidney-ectomy I got by not-on-purpose.
Snappy: So, I wanted to know what "health care" covers. The slicing out of my kidney, for sure. (Who knew opthalmologists did renal surgery!) But what else?
Bitey: Like what?
Snappy: Like, what if a brown recluse spider bites me as I lay in bed after the malpracticey surgery. Would tort reform treat that as a "health care" claim?
Bitey: Yes. Yes it would. Omaha Healthcare Center, LLC v. Johnson, No. 08-0231 (Tex. July 1, 2011).
Fade to black.